Swinging: Who Does That?!

Editor's note: While we at HILARY Magazine strongly believe in monogamy, the following article provides a unique insight into the swinging culture. We neither condone nor support the swinging lifestyle in any way. Please use caution and protection when engaging in any sexual activity.

By Leonardo Calcagno

      Sexual exclusivity with your partner is something still held sacred. When your mate goes screwing around behind your back, the transgression is not readily accepted nor easily forgotten, and often leads to a split-up or divorce. Swinging, on the other hand, is a way to have sex with multiple partners in an open way without giving your partner a reason to be upset with you (all the while assuming no responsibility for any social consequence or emotional disaster). Well, that's the idea anyway...

Swinger clubs around the world give couples the opportunity to have sex with other partners. This lifestyle still is condemned by the moral police (and probably 95% of the population), but you'd be surprised how many people are into it.

Why they do it? How can somebody let their mate have sex with somebody else? I personally don't know. So I went to meet Jean-Paul [last name withheld], the owner of Montreal's Orage, a well-known swinger club that has been busted a couple of times, for a little insight into the dark world of swinging.

Leonardo: I know it's against the law to have sex in a bar or public place. What's the purpose of the Orage Club?

Jean-Paul: Before we used to have a club where people could have sexual activities, but the police busted the place and we went to court [and lost]. Now the Orage is a place where swingers can meet, and later own go to their place and swing.

Why was your bar raided?

Their excuse was that when you advertise and invite people, it becomes a public place, and what was happening [grown consenting people having sex] in the bar is indecent! If you invite your friends to your house, it's OK, but if you want to invite other than your friends over and advertise, even if it's free, your house becomes a public place. It's very serious. It means if somebody has a garage sale it becomes a public place.

Are there a lot of swingers in Canada?

It's hard to evaluate 'cause many of them hide themselves because they're afraid to be busted. Some sexologues say that in Canada, 2% to 5% of the population practice swinging. It's pretty vague, but it gives you a good idea.

Do you see swinging as adultery? I know many people who do.

Some people use swinging as a way to commit adultery, and other people use it as a 'legal' excuse to commit adultery. But I think that it's a personal philosophy, and everybody has his or her own reasons. My vision is that swinging is very individualist. We are on this earth as one person. Why do we get together as two? Because it was written down and [we follow along]. I think that a person is an individual and if we meet another person that is also an individual, we will both function individually without being possessive. What I ask of my girlfriend is not to question my sexuality. I want to live as a sexual individual! She can live the same life without me questioning her. We can live together without any jealousy.

Do you think that swinging can help a couple living a boring sex life?

Yes it could help them, but it's not a magical cure. Swinging is an individual sexual evolution. Swinging can help a couple with their sexual problems, but if they hate each other and they're not sexually compatible, this won't be the answer.

So what is it about swinging that gets you hot?

It's the trill of seeing your partner fulfilling his or her fantasies, and mine as well. There's a freedom hard to understand. We respect our choices and that's what really is a relationship: respect.

Do you think that people should be very sexually experienced before getting into swinging?

I really don't know. Personally, I started swinging because the first girl I had sex with was into swinging. She brought somebody into our couple and I loved the lifestyle. I guess everybody's different, like I said, it's an individual thing. Swinging will come to you not the other way around!

When somebody comes for the first place to a swinger bar, what do they have to expect?

First you will find respect in a swinger community. You want to live your life differently from society, so respect is the first golden rule. You will not please everybody, and you don't have to get a reason why some people don't want you. Swingers know why they're here and they assume the consequences of their actions.

So where does the bad publicity come from? People think that when you go to a swinger bar, people are naked and having sex on the table!

After the police bust, their was so media coverage that people had different and weird ideas about swinging. So now you have people that come to the bar and are disappointment 'cause they thought about some huge orgy, and then others don't come because they think they will find huge orgies.

There was a poll when we got busted on TV [conducted by TVA, a local TV station in Quebec] that asked: "Does it upset you that establishment like the Orage exists?" After a month, 80% of the respondents said they didn't mind. We know that people don't mind; they're open about it. Is it the old moral police that are close minded? Or are the police being pressured by politicians that are pressured by right-wingers?

Is their anywhere in the world where swinging is wide open, without fear of police?

Now, Belgium is where people from around the world are going. It doesn't mean swinging is legal, it's just tolerated.

Can you tell me about the Swinger Convention in Las Vegas?

The convention was organized by NASCA [North-America Swing Club Association] they have 40,000 members, every year they have this convention that last 5 days at the Tropicana Hotel. They sell products for swingers and have conferences with doctors and lawyers, afterwards at night there's the big swinger party.... it's pretty wild.

With the AIDS virus, some condemn the swinging lifestyle. Is it justifiable?

People have to protect themselves, just like if you're involved in the sex scene or an alternative lifestyle.

If somebody wants to hold a swinger night, what precautions should they take?

No publicity, and tell your guests to bring their own alcohol... if you sell anything it can become an excuse to bust your swinger party!

Check them out online at www.OrageClub.com